My name is Lizzy, and I'm addicted to lists.
If it can be listed, it probably has been listed in our home. I LOVE lists! dinner ones, monthly ones, grocery ones, daily ones, I feel like they keep me sane. The list has been good to me. My inner OCD, which must have been buried deep, deep down during my teenagers years, has surfaced with motherhood and came carrying a list. Come over any given day, drop by unannounced and my house will probably look like a 'model home' thanks to my lovely lists. On the outside looking in, i'm sure you all think I have my act together, and I thought I did too. SO why did my days end in frustration? How come the moment my my husband walked through the door I was resentful and needed him to help out more? WHY are there socks on the living room floor? AND WHO USED THE DISH RAG AND DIDN'T PUT IT BACK ON THE OVEN RACK IN THE PERFECT CENTER FOLDED IN TO THIRDS WITH THE EMBELLISHMENT FACING OUT?? I was a mess by the end of the day, but what could it be?
THE LIST.
The long, unrealistic list filled with my least important duties as a wife and mother.
Don't get me wrong, lists aren't all bad, and i urge you to keep "feed kids lunch" on yours too, but at the end of the day all i saw were the things I didn't cross off. I didn't see my perfectly arranged pillows and 'vacuum-lined' carpet, I noticed my microwave wasn't clean, my stainless steel wasn't polished, and above all, my kids weren't happy. They were desperate for my attention, and acting out because of it. It hurt, but I realized my kids had become an obstacle for me in finishing my list, not the reason why i get stuff done. And thats when I realized I needed to change my list.
Changing my list was not easy, after all, who wants to give up a perfectly clean house!?
I resisted, in fear that if i let go, my snowball would roll down hill, and only leave me with a bigger mess. In all seriousness, I confided in my husband about my fear of becoming an extreme hoarder. I did feel a little uncomfortable at first, but I noticed something HUGE. When my focus turned towards teaching my kids, my love and patience for them only grew and grew. My day would end and I'd have a feeling of success, accomplishment and peace. My list never gave me that! I had a new reason to get up each morning and a new goal to look forward to.
Now if you come over any given day, or stopped by unannounced, chances are you'll see the living room furniture rearranged to accommodate a barbie house, you'll see dishes in my sink, and a list that reads:
-Relax! it took more than one day to put the christmas decorations up, they'll get put away soon
-cuddle with Ellie, she starts preschool this upcoming year
-do something that makes me happy
and
-bake that cake mix you bought to make with the kids
So what if my kids room doesn't look like a pottery barn catalog, and heaven forbid the neighbors see our dirty laundry! When my husband comes home now, he comes home to a smile, because I'm learning to let go, and not burden myself. and thats what I want for all of you this new year. Lets be happy moms for our kids and lets change our lists together, and as my Mom loves to say, find Joy in our Journey.
In 2016 Let's be REALISTIC and let's be REAL
To my fellow list lovers, a list of suggestions to help you change your list-
-use everyday tasks as an opportunity to teach your kids (i taught Ellie to fold washcloths this week, and it was really fun!)
-inspirational or soothing music to remind you that things are ok
-if you're overwhelmed think of a simple act of kindness you can do for a friend or neighbor and execute it with your children
-get your kids involved in dinner prep-they get excited about helping mommy and you remember some chores can be fun
-remember at the end of the day your kids are going to remember happy mom because you changed your list.
GOOD LUCK AND LOVE TO ALL!
